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03 June 2011

Who am I, and what was I supposed to be doing...again!?

This is exactly what I'm talking about... I started this blog on Friday, accidentally posted it, and I am just now getting around to it. By the time Friday came around, and it was a four day work week, I was so exhausted that I felt like I was floating around the office! I've decided that breastfeeding is absolutely exhausting. I even question at times how much it is really worth it. There are plenty of positives like it IS the best thing for your baby AND bigger boobs are fabulous, but the lack of sleep and dedication it takes to be a FT working mom and keep your supply up is EXHAUSTING.

One of my favorite things to do now when I'm pumping at work is to text my sister and let her know I'm pumping. I know she secretly enjoys it. It's my excuse to bother her and say hello ;) Actually, that's another thing... My "Lactation Office"...I sit in the girls bathroom, inside the entry to the shower stall where there is a shower curtain and a bench, right before the actual shower. In all honesty, I hate it in there. I posted my pictures of Presley across the wall, I put a huge scentsy pot on the counter because some mornings you can go in there and smell sewer. Not to mention all the ladies that come in and out before taking off in their trucks. "Hey Karen! So, you're pumping!" Yup... that's me and the classic sound of a pump. One of our couriers, who I deemed an organized hoarder with a side of hippy, was kind enough to place a figurine of a nursing mother in my lactation office. So, I'm pretty decked out... except the dull yellow light. It is annoying. Anyway.... breast feeding is quite the predicament. My average day goes like this...

I wake at 4-4:15 to get ready for work. I shower, shave and shine, wake Presley (the goal is for her to eventually sleep through the night until 5AM) feed her, pump, then grab my breakfast shake, some coffee.. which I cannot live without these days.. YUCK!, then head into work. Hoping I didn't forget anything like my pump or lunch. I start at 6 am. It's absolutely brutal. Mornings suck. Then I pump and work throughout the day. Nobody really questions what I do in the bathroom for 10 or so minutes at a time. I work with a bunch of men. They spend more time in the bathroom with their magazines and newspapers and pooping than I do pumping. I'd really hate to have to bring that up if anyone ever gave me a hard time! LOL! Sick!! Well, eventually I leave work for the day, usually around 2:30 ish now. It's been great! I climb into my car for an almost 20-30 minute drive to pick up T from school. That happens every M-W-F. Tuesday and Thursday we swap kids like ships passing in the night which means Bill doesn't get off until 10 or 11. I head home, try not to fall asleep and take care of kids, cook and clean, play, feed, play, etc... Around 7ish Presley gets really cranky so we start our bedtime routine. I get the kids in bed by 8 and it's time for me to eat dinner. Yup. 8PM. I try like hell to squeeze in a workout, but I usually end up passed out on the floor. Someday I will get my body back. Thank god for a fast metabolism, and being too busy to even think about food. So, eventually Presley wakes up. It's usually between 1:30 and 2:30, but on a fabulous night, its 4:30.. which would be more ideal. On the weekends I take the night feeding and Bill will take the early morning. But, lets be honest. When you don't feed almost every 3-4 hours, your boobs are screaming. How comfortable is that when you are trying to get some beauty sleep!? My eyes are permanently black and red, dry, watery... you name it. I'm exhausted. I still have to get up and pump after long periods of sleep.

In the end, is it all worth it? Yes. I love Miss P's chunky legs, cheeks and arms! And, knowing it's because of what I do for her every day, makes me feel good inside. I'm exhausted, I get super cranky, but she is worth every minute of it. My kids are worth anything. So, if I have to continue looking and acting like a zombie, so be it! I'm off to bed! Night!

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